I can't sleep...the Holy Spirit has me up with heavy things on my heart and mind.


What's on my heart is SIN...how we play with it..how I have played with it...knowing it's wages...




Romans 6:23

For the wages of sin is death,


And no man can live by these wages...


Let me tell you about sin in my life, what it has compensated me and the death it has brought...


By sin I was brought into this world, molested, unloved, abused, abandoned...


By sin I brought children into this world...


By sin I destroyed my first marriage and have forever altered the life of my children from that marriage.


By sin the children I have brought into this world today feel the burden and weight of my actions...one of my children in Ga an adult and another in Az who will be 11.


My daughter who lives with me right now feels separated and different then her two brothers because she sees them with both their mother and father while she will never be able to have what they have????


Just the other day she was in tears feeling that disparity...because of MY SIN...


My oldest son struggles in his heart with pride, anger, and hurt, because of my sin...I have had to apologize to this man for my sin against him and how it has affected his life.


My oldest daughter is struggling and lost today because of my sin...


Today I am under church discipline, because of sin...I am unable to teach as I used to and lead worship like I use to...because of sin.


I have submitted myself to discipline over the last couple of years because I must be accountable for my sin and repentance.


By my sin I have destroyed relationships, and friendships, and almost destroyed my current marriage.


I hate sine! It has ravaged my life, and today is destroying the very people I love!


My children young and old play with sin and applaud sin, and make sin ok because at one point that's what I did but they will ultimately be accountable for their choices and sin, not me.


I have been judged for my sin by people living in sin while they judged me...my witness against sin is forever weakened in the eyes of some who play in it and believe that citing my sin will conceal them from God..


I have been a Christian sitting in the church pew on a Sunday right beside the women I was sinning with, in God’s face, fornicating, shacking, in adultery, with other Christians accepting my sin and never holding me accountable...


I have watched preachers preach knowing they were playing with sin...choir members singing with the stench of sin still on them...deacons, ushers, and lay persons praising God on one hand and living a lawless life on another, right along with me.


I and my family friends and strangers have commended and applauded what we know God hates, while claiming that we also love God.


Yes we all sin...I hear you...


But does that make sin ok or any less the killer that it is...because we all do it? What type of rationale are we engaged in...


We do so much wrong but then desire for God to make everything go right...or wonder why things in our lives are such a struggle, or get mad at the people we have sinned against God with when they sin against us?!?


We want faithfulness but are unfaithful to God...I have been very unfaithful to God..


Look...sin is not the end of the story...today as many of you know I am experiencing restoration and the redeeming of many things in my life...


But I had to own my sin and repent!


I had to go to my church and submit to discipline!


I had to apologize to my wife, children, pastor, congregation..


I have had to accept the scorn scrutiny and legitimate anger and disappointment of those who I betrayed and hurt.


I have had to earn trust back and fight to wash my soul clean of the sin lust and lies I subjected it too.


Yes I am being restored but there are things I have lost that will never be the same again..relationships I have lost forever


Because of sin! Sin plays for keeps! It keeps you longer then you want to stay, and makes you pay more then you want to pay!


No one will get away with their sin, not even a child of God...God forgives like he forgave King David but sin has consequences!


God is still, Holy Holy Holy...not a day went by when I had back-slidden that I didn't feel like His hand wasn't going to come out the sky and crush me...because of my sin.


But he was merciful and didn't destroy me where I stood even though he would have been just and right to do so...


I do not stand before you in any type of self righteousness which should be clear...I stand before you knowing the weight and wages of sin and how it steals kills and destroys!


It's pleasures are fleeting and the world we live in is sick with its filth and rife with its contamination...and God is going to judge this world that loves it's sin!


Sin is why Jesus had to die!...Sin is why he didn't just come and say hey guys do you want to go to heaven, let's go...


No! Sin required that God’s own Son be crushed by God himself...all sin must be atoned for!


He became sin who knew no sin...and suffered my measure of hell and yours if we believe..and persevere until the end...He suffered immeasurable incomprehensible anguish to satisfy God’s wrath for sin!


If we are His we will grieve over our sin and repudiate our sins...and we will not lead others astray by making our sin right or ok...


Why? Because we will not make light of Christ and what he suffered for sin!


If you are a sinner who has not repented or a Christian who practices sine without grief or repentance then please please please


Cry out to God for repentance!


Do not let others who either hate God or take Him lightly set you up!


He is loving and He will forgive you if you truly repudiate your sin against Him and repent!


He send His Son for your sins and mine!


But if you reject His great love you will know His great wrath for all eternity!


Love the sinner but hate the sin....don’t ever make sin right because if we do and allow others to, we make God wrong!!


And that might feel like it's working out until you die and face Him!


Listen, God walked with me and in His infinite mercy turned my hard heart to flesh...


He will walk with you too...and be kind, with a kindness that is meant to lead to repentance!


It isn't sin that will get you hell it is unrepentant sin that will get you hell.


So please repent!  Do not die in your sin!


Do not play with it! Repent and turn from your sins...God is merciful and He will forgive, if we confess our sins and in our hearts truly repudiate them...


That is what is on my heart...and friend, you can take it or leave it...if you take it and need someone to walk with you in the desire to repent then contact the elders at ANCF - This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or 763-561-2927.


Luke 15:7

Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.